Life sucks? Good!

Does your life suck?

Do you feel as if things are not going like you’d want them to go?

Did you think by now you’d have it all figured out and life would be easy?

Think again.

I’m not going to tell you in a patronising tone that it’s up to you to change your life and make it suck less, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard that before. It’s like telling a heavy smoker that cigarettes are bad and that they should quit. No shit.

Instead I want to propose a shift in perspective, that will make you reconsider the “suck” aspect of life, and hopefully make you even appreciate it.

Disclaimer

I’m writing this newsletter from a position of privilege: I have a functioning healthy body and mind, a laptop, internet, food, clothing, a home and people around me that I care for.

I am aware that there are people out there that are facing extreme adversity, caused by situations that are beyond their control, who’s lives can be, in all righteousness, considered as tragic or miserable.

The topic of this newsletter is not about that kind of hardship. It’s about changing inner perceptions and breaking false expectations.

Now, on with the newsletter.

Success does not equal happiness

Here’s the hard truth: Everybody’s life sucks.

The people you admire? They suffer too. They deal with insane pressure, stress, and self-doubt. Before they became successful, their life probably sucked even more. But they kept going regardless and did what they didn’t feel like doing for extended periods of time, without seeing any results.

Then they started seeing results. But when they started seeing results, what do you think happened? Did they just stop, in a self-satisfying state?

Reaching the mountain top

In therapy and coaching sessions, the analogy of climbing a mountain is often used when discussing a higher purpose. You don’t focus on reaching the top of the mountain, that would be too overwhelming. It would freeze you in your tracks, specially when you’re just starting out. Instead, you focus on one step at a time, one foot after the other, hating every minute of it. You take recovery breaks here and there, enjoy some rewarding snacks along the climb, until eventually you reach the mountain top.

But what happens when you reach the mountain top? You see other higher mountain tops and you get going again.

You take on new more difficult challenges. The version of you that you’ve become while climbing the first mountain top will be leveraged to achieve a bigger goal, climb a higher mountain top. And the level of difficulty naturally increases, but so does your strength, resilience and value.

Every challenge is only a form of training in disguise for a bigger challenge

6 years ago, I switched from architecture to digital design. The decision to quit something that was not right for me - after 9 years of commitment to the field - was challenging enough, or so I thought.

After one year of self-learning, I landed my first job as a UX/UI designer at a major corporation. I thought all my problems were solved. In reality I hated it.

I quit the corporate life and started working with early-stage startups, which I am still doing today, currently in the AI field. Every day brings new challenges and technology evolves fast. Constant growth on my end is required.

Almost 4 years ago I became a father. It was time for personal growth: stop bad habits, prioritise health.

2 years ago, all the cumulated experiences led me to start my own business. Together with my wife and a dear friend, we’ve launched a self-funded toy-subscription service, being inspired by the challenges we’ve faced ourselves as parents. Levelling-up was required once more, you guessed it.

*If you’re interested in the customer-centric subscription business, feel free to explore Jujuc → www.jujuc.ro

It’s a never-ending journey, and you’re standing on the shoulders of your previous self. And it almost always sucks. That’s what change and diving into the unknown feel like.

But why do it in the first place? Why not live a more comfortable life?

The opposite of misery isn’t happiness, it’s contempt.

Jordan Peterson talks about voluntarily taking on the biggest challenge you can take, referencing Bible stories.

Dan Koe talks about entropy, or how everything naturally falls into chaos, unless you work to hold it together.

The rabbit in Alice in Wonderland tells Alice that “it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place.”

Stoicism emphasizes the idea of continuous effort, resilience, and maintaining inner strength in the face of adversity.

“The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Marcus Aurelius

My thoughts?

You do it because of the person you become after going through the misery. You do it so you can look back and see the steep hill you’ve climbed, and look ahead at all the opportunities that open up to you. You do it for the respect that you will gain for yourself.

Life will suck either way, whether you’re doing the hard stuff or you’re avoiding it. But one option will inevitably push you forward, while the other will lead to a life of regret.

If you’re struggling and your life sucks, good! Keep going.